It's been a while. Know why? Been busy with work...and Gaia. *sweatdrop* Sorry, sorry. But I have knews: I, quite literally, just moved out of my parent's house. Yesterday, in fact. It's a nice, wonderful feeling, this independence. Unfortunately, I'm not totally independent yet, as I still have to rely on my friend Mike for room&board and as a way to get to work. Yay...

Anyway, yeah. That's it. I won't beable to get on the internet very often, as this family has dial-up--my worst enemy--and no wireless connection. Joy... So yes. I shall speak at you when I speak at you.

~teru

@ Work--Congo Stand

There's one of those squirt gun games right across the street from my stand. I usually go over to get water, which is where this story starts.

A family had just played a game and won--duh--when they turned away to go off and ride rides or do whatever. They were about to leave one of their towels behind, so I bent down and picked it up. "You're forgetting your towel, sir!" I said to the father figure. One of his little girls yelped and ran back towards me.

"Oops! Thanks!" she said. I smiled and nodded my "welcome" when another one of his girls' approached me.

"You know," she started, almost shyly. "You're very pretty." Then walked off after her father.

I'm not the type that's used to getting compliments--especially not from little six-seven year old children--so I turned to the boy behind the counter and asked, "Am I pretty?"

He gave me this look. "Um...sure?"

"I don't think I am," I answered, smirking slightly, "but thanks anyway." With that, I went back to mystand and spent the rest of the day pondering:

"Why the hell do I always get hit on by little kids?!"
~*~*~
Moral: Please do not compliment Teru. She is not used to it, nor does she like it very much. Besides, why would anyone want to compliment her?

PS. My little otoutochan has come up with this interesting saying, "Jesus loves the hell out of you!" Today, I saw my first shirt with this catchy tid-bit on it. Yay.

I feel so horrible--and emo, but that's because I'm about to rant out.

I fell in love with my best friend. That's nothing new, right? She loves me right back and we're happy--well, with what we have now, anyway.

I...have developed a crush of sorts...on my boss's boyfriend. I also have feelings for one of my coworkers. I don't know what to do, but what I think I'm going to do is simply leave and love Neko. They're just crushes, right? I'll get over them.

Must we have such icky relationships? *sigh* It must be something everyone deals with in life at least once, right?

I AM SO FRICKEN HAPPY RIGHT NOW ITS NOT EVEN FUCKING FUNNY!

Guess why.

I'll give you three guesses.

1...no.

2...nope.

3...the hell?

Fine, fine, I'll tell you! :3

I FINALLY PASSED MY LEARNERS TEST!

Yes, I finally have my Virginia State Learners Permit! *dancing* Took me long enough, huh? Six times! >.<"

Ah well. Y'know what made me get it? My aniki, Stick. Mom took him along with us this time (he failed! *laughing*) and he started GOADING me on, saying I was going to fail because he failed. I gave him a look and said, "Watch me. I'm going to pass this time."

And what happened? I PASSED! I'm soooooooooo fricken happy! I haven't been this happy since...Well, I can't tell you since, but yeah. :3

Anyways, gotta jet. Ja matta ne!

This is old news to some, new to others, but very late in coming here.

A couple weeks ago--maybe two or three--Shouga, my ginger colored rat, passed away. She had been slowly wasting away, unable to feed herself as she was half paralized in her right side and possibly her left as well. We also suspect that she was going blind. It was about...eleven at night when I went into my room and looked in on the remaining two rats, only to find it was one remaining rat and...Shouga's corpse. She'd died several hours earlier, I suspect, because rigor mortis had set in. *shudders* I hate it, feeling one of my precious babies stiff and cold. It is *not* fun.

I didn't cry this time. It hurts, but I'm proud of that small fact.

I miss Shouga, but I still have one more. She'll probably die after I leave. Koukuhan (black spots) is the only one I have left.

Sango was first. Kawaii was second. Keiko was third. Shouga fourth.

That's all I have to say on that subject.

Now I have to go get ready for work.

Schedule This Week:
Saturday: 9.30 AM to 10.30 PM (op. to cl.)
Sunday: 10 AM to 8 PM (op. to cl.)

Y'know, today would have been PERFECT...except that I was almost late for arriving at the High School for All Area, that my teacher was pissed off at me and the rest of our super small group of people who went to All Area, the fact that one of the guys who went with us to All Area (who also happens to be unlucky enough to be my Prom date [yes, I'm going to make that night hell for him]) wanted to ARGUE with me about what we believe (he's christian, I'm pagan), and the fact that my mother wants to fucking control me.

Oh yeah, today was great other than those four things.

All Area was a blast. It was a bunch of really awsome vocalists from different school choirs getting together and singing in a HUUUUGE group. I literally learned the seven songs we were singing (which I'd gotten some couple weeks beforehand) while there yesterday. They were absolutely beautiful songs...if very Christian-y. *makes a face* The things I do to sing...

First song: Mozart's "Gloria in Excelsis Deo". Second song: "Neighbors' Chorus" from the opera La jolie Parfumeuse. Third song: "Psalm 150", arranged by Cesar France. That was a nightmare of a song...at least, to me. Fourth song: "The Circles of Our Lives" by David L. Brunner. The men had "Goodnight, Sweetheart, Goodnight" by James Hudson and Calvin Carter as our fifth. "Precious Lord"--another nrraggle one--was our sixth and "Jesus is a Rock in a Weary Land" was our seventh. For being a traditional African American Gospel, that was a DAMN fun song!

Yeah, sorry. Just thought you chorus/band geeks out there might like to know that I am, in fact, one of you. Bwa ha ha.

Anou... Yeah. The controlling mother thing. Everything else was practically self-explanitory...except for this one. Why would I think that my mother wants to control my life? Because she absolutely hates one of my friends. This guy, John, is a really good friend of mine, almost like an older brother. However, the one time I made a mistake in reading time, my mother blamed him and told me that I could never speak to him again. "He lied to me. He said he'd get you home by *blah blah blah* and it's eleven o'clock!"

-insert eye rolling here-

So, yes. She found out he's working at King's Dominion with me. Well, not exactly "with" me, but yeah. He's working at the deli near our I-street stand. *shrug* Close enough. He and Andrew had a talk today, found out that John is getting deployed via the Army (i think) in June--before I leave for Oregon, probably--and said, rather rudely, "Heather can't join the Air Force now." I turned to her and glared.

"Just to let you know, mom," I'd snapped. "I'm over eighteen now, yes? That means you cannot tell me what to do anymore. I can, and will, join what ever I want to, whenever I want to, because I want to. I'll hang out with whomever I want to whenever I want to, because I want to. You cannot stop me."

She turned to me and sneered. Yes, sneered. "Oh, look who's all high and mighty because she's eighteen!"

"At least I can act mature and my age, miss 'oh, I'm losing weight so I can look like a teenager again!'" I rolled my eyes and stormed off to my room.

And here I am.

Yes, I hate my mother. Can't you tell?

Single...

I feel so odd right now.

I know I should at least feel a bit upset, but I'm not. I'm not mad, I'm not sorry, I'm not crying.

Its so fucking weird. I feel...more freaked than anything. A bit numb, but that's prob'ly from my cold.

"Why"? Because I just broke up with my girlfriend.

About a month or two a go, we had this talk. She's one of the flirty types, who likes to be surrounded by a lot of people. She's very touchy feelly, too. I'm the loner type, who likes to hide in the darkest corner and watch everything unfold. I'm NOT touchy feelly. I found out, about five minutes ago, from her very own mouth, that a guy had asked her out last week and she'd said "yes" with out my knowing. Yesterday, she told me, she broke up with him and now she feels as if I should know. Yeah, I should know, but now its kinda...over.

That was whe weirdest break up I've gone through yet. I've had only two boyfriends my entire life and she was my first girlfriend. It was fairly simple to break up with my first boyfriend...I moved away from the city we had been living in. My second one? Our relationship lasted six months before I had to say "that's enough. We don't do enough together to really be considered 'boyfriend and girlfriend'. Sorry."

And now there's this.

Wow... I mean it. I've never felt so...weird about anything like this before. I feel totaly...emotionless. It's fucking freaking me out. I should at least feel a bit sad that I'm once again alone...but I'm not.

I'm actually...kind of glad.

I think something may be wrong with me...

Update time. Yay.

So, yeah, last Friday, in African American Studies, my teacher told us to get into groups of four to five people and make a song concerning what was going on in the world now and how it related to us--like the old Africans would when passing down their culture to their children and what not. Easy enough, right? Not really. Try writing the song by yourself with out anyone helping you--from lyrics to vocal part and finding an accompanist. >.< my group did NOT help me at all. We tried to come up with solo projects, but I was the only one who got anything even remotely done via lyrics way, and I’m the only one with an ounce of musical talent…so I had to write the music and perform it as well. I was shaking for twenty minutes prior to performing and I kept dropping things while setting up my laptop and keyboard--yes, I took my keyboard to school with me. Hence the accompanist bit. (I performed it on Tuesday, if you were wondering)

So yeah, not so bad. My voice quivered, I messed up on some notes, but made it look okay, other than the fact that I sounded fucking BAD. Afterwards, everyone came up to me, patted me on the shoulder and said “great job, heteru (real name omitted for personal reasons)!” I looked at them and shook my head.

“that was terrible” I answered. They shook their heads and walked off.

To each their own.

And now I’m anxiously looking forward to June, when I’ll hopefully be in Oregon with Neko-chan and Jeff-kun. *crosses fingers and prays*

That’s all for now, I think. If anything new comes up, I’ll try to let you know.

Oh, and my laptop is fixed, if you haven’t heard. And his name is Clay. No relation to the Atkins kid.

;3 ja.

Ps. if you didn't already know, i hate my mother. details upon request. (if i remember)